A time ago, I had awoken with a vision of myself tying a pretty red ribbon around a gift box. As I reached up and placed it gently upon the shelf with a smile upon my face. A melancholy act of letting go, completion.

The simple act reminded me of packing up after Christmas with all the wonderful aromas of holiday cheer put up on a shelf for a year. This container had all the happy joyous festive moments, with fewer items with a knowing this time it would probably be viewed much further down the road. I wouldn’t expect to be looking for these items anytime soon. I choose in that moment to hold on to select memorabilia  as part of a happy chapter in my life. 

 

So many times we seem to hold on to the past in any way, shape or form. Hoping, wishing, those moments will be here present again. As if they might actually appear in front of us once more in all their glory. Those times when a flood of happiness warmed the soul, and seemingly enhance the space.

 

After a recent parting of ways with my than partner, I allowed myself to wallow in my sadness for a time. Allowing myself the time to grieve what once was. 

 

During a conversation with my then 23 year old daughter having shared with me about a guy she’d met. She’d texted:  “you know mom, I’m okay if he doesn’t like me, I create my own happiness and I crack myself up!!” I smiled, that knowing smile.  I do this for a living so I interjected … ‘We create our own happiness and others just enhance the experience’. Without skipping a beat, her response had me stopped me right in my tracks… “if you believed that mom, you wouldn’t be acting miserable “… In that instant of vulnerability, something within shifted and reminded me of who I am. Even though I know this, it seems to me we aren’t here to do life alone when we forget what our commitments to ourself are. 

 

Suffering is optional! A choice. A decision. In a moment, I choose to stepped right out and have been back in life since. I no longer need to be feeling sorry for myself, for what I did or hadn’t done. Second guessing myself, which kept me attached to the past. Now I view those beautiful moments in time as a gift. 

 

Like most chapters in our life, seems to me they come to us for a reason or season to learn and expand. They often appear to be ‘yanked’ away when we forget it’s ourselves that create our own happiness. We aren’t dependent upon another to create our happiness for us. 

 

The past is called History for a reason, in this case it was Her-story. My -Story. The story I told myself which had me attached to the past. The present or gift is called a present for a reason. It’s all we have here and now. Life’s too short not to be in the NOW, in the moment, present and alive. I decided in an instant.

 

I am grateful for all  my past experiences and those I’ve yet to receive. My arms are open to receiving more of what life has to offer and I am grateful. I’m particularly proud and grateful I have a pretty astute daughter! She’s learned well! Learning to laugh at ourselves can often be a challenge, until we are reminded of who we are!  I’m grateful!